Nonbinary folks: What is your pronoun-journey?
Reply
IndyHaine
Bracelet King
IndyHaine
1 year, 1 month ago by IndyHaine
I can't help but notice that there's a lot of nonbinary folks on this site! Makes me very happy to see you guys! 🙂

I'd love to hear: What pronouns do you use in what language?

Using they/them is so easy and I love and envy English for it (so obviously it's what I use in English).

But my native language is German and it's a disaster there. In my regional dialect, it's completely normal to refer to people as "it" so that was what I was going with as a child, and I still love that.
But it's very regional and now that I moved away, people find it extremely strange and/or degrading, so I switched to the neo-pronoun "xier". But that is super uncommon and hard to use and I have to admit that it doesn't feel 100% right.

I'd love to hear about your journey when it comes to pronouns. I don't think I've ever been on a site with so many nonbinary people, so I thought it's worth a shot asking in this forum.
Moogle
Bracelet King
Moogle
1 year, 1 month ago by Moogle
Hello! English is my language and I went from they/them to they/he and finally he/they. I know there isn't much difference between the last two but I wanted the emphasis to be on the masculine part of my gender 😁
Hanners
Professional
Hanners
1 year, 1 month ago by Hanners
I have a question. I grew up speaking Farsi which does not technically have pronouns. The word for he/she/it and they (depending on where) is the exact same word and there is no gender language. I have never met a trans person who speaks my language so I am curious. Do you think it would be better to speak a language with only one pronoun or would you not like it? Do you like English because there are male and female pronouns or would it be better for it all to be put together as one such as in my language?
IndyHaine
Bracelet King
IndyHaine
1 year, 1 month ago by IndyHaine
@Moogle It's always so good to hear that others are figuring put their pronouns too! Like you went from they/he to he/they, I hope I find a better fitting solution for me too. And the devil is in the details; I completely understand that the change from they/he to he/they can feel like a huge relief. If it fits better, then it's more "you"! 🙂

@Hanners Me personally, I would love if my native language was Farsi, or like Farsi, without gender disparity. German is even more gendered than English, even, not just with pronouns but with every noun too. (French and Spanish are way worse, since they gender their nouns AND their adjectives, but still...)

It's really irritating if you have to say stuff like "the person I talked to (female)" for example, everytime you talk about anybody. Especially since you don't know people's gender half the time (like, if I'm talking about going to ER to see a doctor, I don't know if they're going to be male or female).
That in turn lead to people just generalizing and saying "doctor (male)" all the time, but "cleaner (female)", which is now heavily debated as a form of discrimination. It's a whole thing and literally EVERYBODY hates it - no matter whether they're saying it's discrimination and we have to change it, or whether they wanna keep it for convenience.

But that was just an aside that has nothing to do with being trans itself - I'm just saying, the whole country hates gendered language right now. You can't believe how huge a topic it is at the moment.
As for just pronouns for myself, I would also prefer Farsi, but I can't speak for others.
KyLeNuGgEt
Advanced
KyLeNuGgEt
1 year, 1 month ago by KyLeNuGgEt
I’m in the middle of mine right now! Usually I use they/them, but sometimes she/they and he/they are nice, so I’m quite confused
IndyHaine
Bracelet King
IndyHaine
1 year, 1 month ago by IndyHaine
@KyLeNuGgEt Haha you're definitely not alone with that specific kind of confusion!
m0ss
Professional
m0ss
1 year, 1 month ago by m0ss
In my language, French, I go by she/her as you literally have to add letters to the alphabet or change the structure of French grammar to go by nombinary pronouns. Realistically, in English, I use they/she/he but since people only use she/her IRL, I say my pronouns are they/them (also because I have a slight preference for they/them). The only pronoun I would dislike to be used to refer to me is it/its.
IndyHaine
Bracelet King
IndyHaine
1 year, 1 month ago by IndyHaine
@m0ss Yeah I wondered if it's even harder in French. Like, what would you even say? "Je suis fatigué" / "Je suis fatiguée" and what? Because I know in Spanish, they found a solution with: "Estoy cansado" / "Estoy cansada" / "Estoy cansade" - the last one being very new, and for nonbinary people, if I'm not mistaken. Is there something like that in French? I would be especially interested since I have to speak French fairly often (not that you could tell, with my German accent, whether I'm using the male or female form haha).
m0ss
Professional
m0ss
1 year, 1 month ago by m0ss
There is a nombinary pronoun iel/ellui but once you make a sentence you’re stuck. Some people created an « half e » but it only works in written form : how can you pronounce half an e ?
IndyHaine
Bracelet King
IndyHaine
1 year, 1 month ago by IndyHaine
I mean, linguistically speaking, there actually are half-e's in French and German, but French already uses it, so that's taken. (For example when you distinguish between "le" and "les", the Schwa from "le" is kinda a half-e (idk the French term for that sound, but in German it's called a "Schwa"-E)).
It's definitely a challenge to make a nonbinary sentence work in French, even more so than in German. English is much easier...
m0ss
Professional
m0ss
1 year, 1 month ago by m0ss
Y’all call those half e !? I always thought of them as normal e in « le » and é in « les ». It’s interesting to see different languages’ view of each other.
IndyHaine
Bracelet King
IndyHaine
1 year, 1 month ago by IndyHaine
@m0ss Oh no! They're called "Schwa-E", I just meant that they're kind of an half-e. And I don't think any German who hasn't studied linguistics would even know that they're called Schwa-E or that Schwa-sounds even exist. They're super common in German as well (at least Schwa-E and Schwa-A, which are afaik all the Schwa sounds), but they don't "matter" like they do in French. In German, if you say a word that actually has a Schwa, but you say it with an é, it would sound weird, but you would always still understand the exact word, even out of context. Where as in French, they make the distinction between some words, like in "le" and "les" or in "de" and "dés".
In German, you have words like "Beamter", which has a Schwa-E at the first e and a Schwa-A as the "er" at the end, but even if you said it with a full E and a full A, everybody would always understand, even if it's completely out of context. It just sounds a bit odd and you would know that the person is not a German native speaker.
m0ss
Professional
m0ss
1 year, 1 month ago by m0ss
I understand. I had never heard of it, it’s interesting
two_gender
Skiller
two_gender
1 year ago by two_gender
My pronoun journey was extremely long and difficult however I am proud to present to you my wonderfully assigned pronouns in my bio! @IndyHaine @m0ss @KyLeNuGgEt
two_gender
Skiller
two_gender
1 year ago by two_gender
@Moogle @Hanners My sincerest apologies I have forgotten to tag you all as well 🙂
IndyHaine
Bracelet King
IndyHaine
1 year ago by IndyHaine
Wow, congrats on getting yourself banned so fast! I didn't even know that was possible on bracelet book. But it spares me the hassle of reporting you, so that's very kind of you. 🙂
xdarkfirex
Bracelet King
xdarkfirex
1 year ago by xdarkfirex
I’m still sort of trying to get used to calling myself she/they and even considering myself part of the lgbt community tbh. I don’t think I’ve even told my current partner, but we both also identify as demisexual so he’d be fine with it. I just struggle with imposter syndrome lol. And my sister is very vocal and confident about her identity, sooo I always worry about not being queer enough or just trying to fit in or something.
IndyHaine
Bracelet King
IndyHaine
1 year ago by IndyHaine
@xdarkfirex man, do I feel you on the imposter syndrome one. That sucks, but I hope it'll get better over time!!
Yelena09
Bracelet King
Yelena09
1 year ago by Yelena09
English is my native language and the language I speak.
I thought I was a Demi-girl (And maybe I am, I still don't know) But maybe I said that because I thought I had to have a female-related gender for my very religious (if you are religious that's fine, but they don't like LGBTQIA+ at all) family. I was raised as a woman but don't really feel like I'm a girl. I don't really feel a connection with a specific gender. (If anyone knows the proper terms, please let me know them!) Every time my sister says "sis" or my mother says "my daughter" I don't feel like it connects with me. So, while I'm still trying to figure it out, I feel more comfortable using They/Them pronouns 😊
Moogle
Bracelet King
Moogle
11 months, 4 weeks ago by Moogle
Going off topic for a moment to say that if any queer folks are reading this and you have experienced any anti-lgbtq trolling/bullying here on BB to please feel empowered to message a moderator with a report!

I reported the user earlier in this thread who was mocking nonbinary/trans people in their profile and it was promptly taken care of.
On browser you can find who to message to by clicking "Users" at the very bottom of the screen and sorting by rank "Super Moderator" or "Moderator".
Alternatively you can also tag mods in the content itself.

💛🤍💜🖤
Reply