Forum - Community - Should I or should I not come out?

howlcsm

Skiller

1 month ago by howlcsm

so uhh, I've known for a while now, and just recently feel like it's become solidified in my mind. I've told my friends, and now I only need to tell my parents......

I've actually tried to find out what they thought abt the LGBTQ+ community a few times, well mostly with my mom cuz dad is religious and I'm a bit scared I'd get an instant dissaproving look from him, but anyway, I just subtly brought up the topics a few times and mom wasn't really comfortable with it every time. I'm from a place where being queer is fairly 'new' (as in 'legalized' a few years back) and people are still replused by just the mere concept. 🙁

Last month, she was telling me abt a crime that took place at her college and she was very upset abt it. I remembered watching a video on the pride parade happening in my country and they were interviewing the people abt their joys and sorrows. One of them said that marriage was impossible because if the parents didn't accept them, they could get the couple arrested, or wrose, honour... unaliving...

It made me quite sad to find out that kind of stuff was still happening and I decided to tell mom abt it. She just looked at me as if I had suddenly grown horns or smt. I expressed my feelings on the matter saying that it's sad that people who love each other cannot even get married and live in peace, and she replied saying, "Well, what's the use of talking about it? We don't have anyone in our family who's in a same-sex marriage." and she said it in such a dismissive tone that I just could not say anything.

I don't get it, because there was a trans woman participant on a reality show, and they absolutly loved her! they were rooting for her to win the prize or whatever. Not just that, whenever there's a queer character in a show, they're fine with that as well. So i'm just so confused. Are they ok with other people being queer as long as it isn't someone they know?

it's just that they keep saying 'boyfriend' or 'future husband' and everytime I feel like I got flash banged lolol soo yeah that's it 😄 have a good day!

rz

Professional

1 month ago by rz

I think that it’s all up to you! I mean, if u tell ur parents, they can’t really do anything to change your mind. This is just how you are and it’s nothing to be ashamed of! I’m glad BB is a safe place for you to express your feelings! Whatever you do, I completely support your decision! Good luck on whatever you decide to do!

howlcsm

Skiller

1 month ago by howlcsm

Thank you for the support! I appreciate it ❤️

It's not that they'll change my mind, I'm afraid that they'll start treating me differently, and I don't want to lose the good vibe I have with them 🙁

Jannes

Professional

1 month ago by Jannes

I hope the world accepts the LGBTIQ+ in the future, or now of course. (English isn’t my primair language). When I speak as a mother with children going into puberty, I hope they feel that they can say this to us. On the same time I hope that that are straight. Not because I think it’s better, but because life is less complicated. I don’t know how old you are, but you can always wait to tell your parents. It is private and there is no law or something that you have to tell your parents before…. I think it is a good thing to realize that you know for a while and had to get used to it. When you tell your parents they have to get used to it too. It doesn’t mean that they don’t except you. Parents have an image of their children in the future and that is changed. And about the reaction of your mother. Maybe she never had to think about LHBTIQ+ in the past, because ‘we don’t have anyone in our family’. She is also raised with ideas that she maybe had to let go. I think you do it wonderfull. So now and again have a little conversation about it. Now it seems like I only want that you always take into account the feelings of your parents, but that isn’t right. You just can say it. But the first reaction isn’t the final one. Again: you don’t have to tell your parents if you’re not sure if you want to tell them. Whatever you choose you can be proud of yourself!!

howlcsm Skiller	1 month ago by howlcsm so uhh, I've known for a while now, and just recently feel like it's become solidified in my mind. I've told my friends, and now I only need to tell my parents...... I've actually tried to find out what they thought abt the LGBTQ+ community a few times, well mostly with my mom cuz dad is religious and I'm a bit scared I'd get an instant dissaproving look from him, but anyway, I just subtly brought up the topics a few times and mom wasn't really comfortable with it every time. I'm from a place where being queer is fairly 'new' (as in 'legalized' a few years back) and people are still replused by just the mere concept. 🙁 Last month, she was telling me abt a crime that took place at her college and she was very upset abt it. I remembered watching a video on the pride parade happening in my country and they were interviewing the people abt their joys and sorrows. One of them said that marriage was impossible because if the parents didn't accept them, they could get the couple arrested, or wrose, honour... unaliving... It made me quite sad to find out that kind of stuff was still happening and I decided to tell mom abt it. She just looked at me as if I had suddenly grown horns or smt. I expressed my feelings on the matter saying that it's sad that people who love each other cannot even get married and live in peace, and she replied saying, "Well, what's the use of talking about it? We don't have anyone in our family who's in a same-sex marriage." and she said it in such a dismissive tone that I just could not say anything. I don't get it, because there was a trans woman participant on a reality show, and they absolutly loved her! they were rooting for her to win the prize or whatever. Not just that, whenever there's a queer character in a show, they're fine with that as well. So i'm just so confused. Are they ok with other people being queer as long as it isn't someone they know? it's just that they keep saying 'boyfriend' or 'future husband' and everytime I feel like I got flash banged lolol soo yeah that's it 😄 have a good day!
rz Professional	1 month ago by rz I think that it’s all up to you! I mean, if u tell ur parents, they can’t really do anything to change your mind. This is just how you are and it’s nothing to be ashamed of! I’m glad BB is a safe place for you to express your feelings! Whatever you do, I completely support your decision! Good luck on whatever you decide to do!
howlcsm Skiller	1 month ago by howlcsm Thank you for the support! I appreciate it ❤️ It's not that they'll change my mind, I'm afraid that they'll start treating me differently, and I don't want to lose the good vibe I have with them 🙁
Jannes Professional	1 month ago by Jannes I hope the world accepts the LGBTIQ+ in the future, or now of course. (English isn’t my primair language). When I speak as a mother with children going into puberty, I hope they feel that they can say this to us. On the same time I hope that that are straight. Not because I think it’s better, but because life is less complicated. I don’t know how old you are, but you can always wait to tell your parents. It is private and there is no law or something that you have to tell your parents before…. I think it is a good thing to realize that you know for a while and had to get used to it. When you tell your parents they have to get used to it too. It doesn’t mean that they don’t except you. Parents have an image of their children in the future and that is changed. And about the reaction of your mother. Maybe she never had to think about LHBTIQ+ in the past, because ‘we don’t have anyone in our family’. She is also raised with ideas that she maybe had to let go. I think you do it wonderfull. So now and again have a little conversation about it. Now it seems like I only want that you always take into account the feelings of your parents, but that isn’t right. You just can say it. But the first reaction isn’t the final one. Again: you don’t have to tell your parents if you’re not sure if you want to tell them. Whatever you choose you can be proud of yourself!!

Forum ► Community

Should I or should I not come out?